Day 5 🙂
It is always uplifting to read the stories of other Endo warriors who are braving through life, shining their lights and lifting others up.
Editah Hadassa Trip is the founder of Waiting Wombs trust. She is walking with women whose wombs are waiting and sharing a message of hope.
She first shared her story with me in 2017.
After our grand wedding in 2007, I wasn’t keen on conceiving in the first 3 years. We were on honeymoon so I didn’t see any hurry. I had also lost my sister during child birth and it crushed me.
Fast forward to the fourth year, I experienced horrible cramps, and visited a doctor who treated me for cysts. That was the beginning of our waiting journey, and the medication process. I was put on strong hormonal medication that nearly killed me, they had to be flushed out of my system fast.
I experienced my first “societal punch” when someone asked me to try different positions and stop wasting time. (I never lack sober responses for such questions – trust me .)
We kept trying, started visiting doctors who confirmed that all was well with us.
In 2010, I had a laparoscopic surgery where the doctor removed 12 fibroids and 6 cysts. I remember asking him how so many growths could be in one petite person. I recovered and went back to my normal routine.
Later, a pal gave me some herbal medication that worked for her after a long waiting period. This totally affected me and resulted in fresh cysts, said the doc. Reversing the effect was a painful process.
In 2014, I experienced another flare of pain and ended up in the theatre again, this time for an emergency open surgery. I was diagnosed with severe Endometriosis. I was then put on the those jabs that drive you straight to menopause (at least some of us know what menopause feels like, lol!) How do our mothers handle hot flushes?
I remember one day fanning myself ( July) and a client asked me ” Madam, ni kushuta ama joto?” (Madam, are you feeling hot or did someone fart?) lol!!
Anyway, I faithfully took the medication for 6 months. This time I was confident that I had recovered and my twins would come any moment – those twins are still coming :).
I have since gone for six Hysterosalpingograms which is an X-Ray to see the inside of the uterus and Fallopian tubes. I’m not doing it again because the last one left me limping. I’ve been on crazy medication, used horrible herbs, and had uncomfortable procedures. At some point my hubby and I promised ourselves that we’d only visit doctors if we must. Oh, how I hate hospitals!!
I need to mention how uncomfortable I feel buying the pregnancy kits. Knowing that it could be another 200 shillings washed down the drain. I know you understand that feeling only too well. There’s a time I was sure that the babies had at least settled in (Dr. Google can be a monster eish!). I took the tests thrice just because I wasn’t prepared for another negative result. I even tried putting on a different set of specs just in case my eyes were a problem. Call it “honest deception”. I think I cried for an hour or so after finally accepting the results. My eyes were so swollen the next day and I had to go to work. I survived .
Anytime I was put on hormonal medication e.g Clomid, my reaction was extreme. In one instance, I developed severe Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome. I react to everything! Literally!
THE OPINIONS OF OTHERS
Two months ago I was upcountry. An old lady relative approached me and said ” I saw the cause of your childlessness in a vision. Give me some money and let me pray for you “. Thank God my husband was there who politely told her off.
Some of the uncomfortable comments I have faced as I wait are:
“What are you still waiting for? ”
“You are pretending to be happy yet you aren’t.”
“Why are you wasting your husband?”
“You keep postponing this issue thinking you’ll be young forever- shida yako!”
Why am I sharing this? Why am I still hopeful and waiting? Does it mean that I don’t have low moments? No. I do. I am human and a woman for this matter.
We have however accepted that children come from God. See the Bible cases where ” The Lord opened wombs and conception occurred”? I cling onto such promises. I have faith that my conception will be natural because there’s God in heaven who can do the impossible.
Doctors can talk about infertility or barrenness but I don’t buy that, I am a waiting womb. Adoption is an option for us whether our Samuel comes or not. And as we wait, we’ll make the best childless uncle and auntie by God’s grace.
Should The Lord in His wisdom decide to withhold this blessing from us, we’ll still trust and serve Him. Doesn’t He have good plans for us? He’ll provide the strength needed to hang on.
Let’s be encouraged dear ones. Don’t allow your current situation to define you. You are special, you are loved.
There may be pressure from within, from in-laws, spouses ,society and all, hang on. Even Peninah could only do so much until The Lord remembered Hannah.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Hadassa, may God continue to grant you grace and strength to hang on and to hold other women’s hands. May He remember you. Keep shining!