I idolized healing.
It was the destination, my checkbox before I could be happy, better yet, live my life. It was the proverbial ‘GO’ in Monopoly that I needed to pass before I could get $200. It was exactly what I lived for. What I craved. What I needed.
Then it didn’t happen.
Needless to say, I was crushed. Life came to a standstill, but it’s not exactly like it was moving, remember it was standing still because I was waiting for a miracle. As I stood, the clock kept ticking and tocking, and time, precious time, kept going. My dreams, those that were time sensitive, well they just fizzled out, others became forgotten and life went as it may.
#Mybestlifenow was not a hashtag I would have used, #survivor #barelysurviving were more apt for any post that I would make. Nothing was happening, well a lot was happening, I was sinking into a hole, frustrated that I was not moving forward.
It was a hard place to be.
One day I saw the light, I realized that healing may not be a destination. I took control of what I could control and started making small steps, taking responsibility for my happiness.
God has brought me a long way, and I am not where I used to be. Now I am making the most of what I have in my hands. I may not choose my cards, but I can choose to have joy. As I have obeyed, the healing has come. This time it is not the focus, it is not an idol.
Here’s to choosing joy, remaining obedient, shining your light, keeping hope alive and keeping God at His rightful place.