Invitation To Partner

I could talk about periods all day long. What used to make me cringe and uncomfortable is now what make I have chosen to spend this season of my life talking about and training on.

I trained a group of ladies from Moi University a few days ago, and I loved it! There are way too many assumptions about menstrual health. The stigma surrounding menstrual health means that the lies have become truths, and there is no avenue to ask questions or to seek clarifications.

In some communities, girls are having sex soon after their menarche because the boys believe that sexual intercourse can cure cramps. Parents, religious insitutions and schools’s voices are faint compared to the uproar of their peers.

Sex is not a cure for for menstrual cramps. Pregnancy may provide temporary relief, but I believe that teenage pregnancy should not be a band-aid for underlying problems. Pregnancy and motherhood may come with other challenges.reach out and give someone a great big hug!.png

There is a great need out there. To some, this may just seem like just another period campaign, but it is more than just a period talk. It is the demolishing of myths, it is teaching of life-changing truths, it is the restoration of dreams and hopes, it is unveiling the – often-marred- beauty of being a woman. It is showing another side of the rose, while hoping to take away the memories of the prick of the thorn.

There are several opportunities that are coming up to train, inspire and mentor girls, and the truth is that I cannot do it alone.

If you would like to get to know more about the training sessions and how you can help to change a girl’s life, please send me an email via yellowendoflower@gmail.com.

 

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A Conversation About Menstruation – MHDay2018

When we take away the shame that surrounds menstruation, girls and women will truly be able to walk in freedom.

Being born with a uterus should not be a disadvantage. Being born with a uterus should not stagnate your dreams. Being born with a uterus should not make you spend time away from school or work every month.

To commemorate Menstrual Hygiene day 2018, We For She organized an event at Ronald Ngala Primary School in Mombasa.

It was nice to see boys and girls eager to learn more about menstrual hygiene. A conversation about menstruation is one that we need to have with people of both genders. Menstruation is not optional, menstrual hygiene and health education should be prioritized.

I was invited to speak about menstrual health education and endometriosis. It was good to create awareness about endometriosis even to preteens. I urged the stakeholders present to offer comprehensive menstrual health education to the girls, including stressing the importance of understanding your hormonal functions and how to decipher your periods.

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The Mombasa County Women Representative Hon Asha Mohamed took the microphone and shared her journey with Endometriosis. Her vulnerability and willingness to share her journey was beautiful. We may be one in ten women, but we are more than just a statistic. We are mothers, sisters, wives, cousins, and friends to many other men and women. Our voices matter.

I applaud you Hon Asha Mohamed. Thank you for standing with us and for amplifying our voice.

Tina Leslie of Freeedom4girls shared about period poverty. The reusable menstrual products are a great alternative for girls and women who miss school and work because of lack of sanitary products. Also, these products are environmentally friendly.

The theme of this year’s Menstrual Hygiene days was #NoMoreLimits. Here’s to girls and women achieving their dreams and living their lives to the fullest.

 

 

Let’s Talk About Periods

I had a beautiful period last month.

It was a nice shade of red, bright, alive, a good summary that my hormone levels are getting better. It was a shade that I never saw in my teenage years. It made me happy, reminded me of how jolly my little one gets when she sees Elmo. Speaking of Sesame Street, a friend told me that she calls her period ‘Elmo’ and that my friends, is how I have closed the Furchester hotel in my mind.

It flowed like a stream, which is a relief since my period has always felt like the ocean on a bad day, like trying to kayak on choppy waters in a raging storm. I told hubby how good it looked, let’s just say that was not what he was expecting me to say. I have talked about periods for a long time, but this was a different narrative.

I love talking about periods. It is one of the topics I could give a talk on without prior preparation. Talking about periods is important. If I knew that my period should be bright red and runny as a teenage girl, I would probably have gone to a hospital sooner. Instead, I suffered in shame. I was horrified by the size of the clots, and the dark purple color was really nothing to write home about.

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We need to talk about periods openly and regularly. Too many girls and women are suffering in silence. So many dreams are unrealized because of menstrual health-related conditions and lack of supplies.

Monday 28th May is MH day 2018, the theme this year is #NoMoreLimits. If you are in Mombasa and you would like to meet up and have a conversation about menstrual health, please drop me a line via yellowendoflower@gmail.com

Please speak up, share your story, initiate a menstrual health and hygiene conversation with women and girls around you. Let them know that being born with a uterus should not be a disadvantage. We can all achieve our dreams.

#NoMoreLimits

Hemorrhoids. Be. Gone – 8 Home Remedies for Hemorrhoids

Hemorrhoids. The pain in the butt that no one ever wants to have.

Courtesy of Endo, I was acquainted with hemorrhoids at a tender age. I didn’t know what it was, but it seemed like the lesser evil compared to being backed up, thanks to chronic constipation. The bowel issues began before I was 10, and by the time I started my periods, Things Were Bad! During my periods, I would battle, cramps, heavy flow, and bleeding hemorrhoids. Just thinking about the pain gives me chills. Some months I wasn’t quite sure where the bleeding was coming from. It was a messy affair.

Over the years, things have gotten better. Here are some home remedies that I have tried and have worked:

1. Hydrate

Drink enough water, at least 6-8 glasses of water a day. The liquid will help to soften the stool.

2. Eat more fiber

Eat fiber-rich foods such as fruits, whole grains, and vegetables. The fiber will help to soften the stool. Reduce the intake of foods that trigger and worsen constipation.

3. Don’t push too hard

Avoid bearing down excessively when passing stool. It may put too much pressure on your veins.

4. Don’t postpone the urge to go

When you feel like using the bathroom, use the bathroom. The longer you wait, the stool will become dehydrated.

5. Don’t sit too long

Avoid spending to much time perched on the toilet seat. Reading on the toilet may cause more harm than good by straining your veins.

6. Keep the anus clean and dry

Avoid using things that can irritate the skin such as soap and wipes with alcohol. Wash the anus with water and pat dry. Wear loose, breathable materials.

7. Get moving

Adapt exercise into your lifestyle, it can help to ease the pressure on the veins. Also, losing excessive weight may take some pressure off the veins.

8. Use a step stool

Place a step stool infront of the toilet and step on it as you sit. Elevating your legs into a squat like position may help you pass stool with some ease.

There are topical creams available over-the-counter. However, if the pain, discomfort, and bleeding persists, please see a doctor.

Here’s to hemorrhoid and constipation free days.

 

 

 

Bloom

“It is well” is at the tail end of things that I like to hear in times of turmoil. It is a phrase that I heard in the gusts of pain and wondered how anyone could conclude that what felt like a near death experience was something to talk about on a positive note.

10 years ago as I writhed in pain, it was not well. My body was not well, my mind was not well, and, I was not well. Everything hurt; passing urine, bowel movements, ovulating and menstruating were all accompanied by pain. I hated the journey, and I didn’t have good things to say about life. I was drowning on dry land. A few months later, I began my journey to get a diagnosis, which changed my life even more. Endometriosis is a silent, seemingly subtle thief, that lurks in the night at first, and then becomes brash as it matures and steals unashamedly in broad daylight. The pain that I had been battling over the years was all linked to the painful and heavy periods but I had no idea.

Pain is a very good teacher, thankfully we do not all have to attend its classes, especially if we have other people to teach us. My experience through pain and life change bore a desire to teach what I wish I knew as a teenage girl. One year ago, I decided to put the lessons into a book.

Bloom is here

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I am stoked that it is a reality, Bloom is a product of tears, surgeries, questions, countless medications, and a desire to be the change that I want to see.

Bloom is your practical guide for your period journey. It describes how a normal period should look and feel like, it explores the sanitary product options, healthy practices that every female should employ and teaches girls and women how to keep a period diary, the different factors that they should look out for and it includes a one year period diary.

Keeping a period diary over the last couple of years has revolutionized my life. I am now more self-aware, able to identify patterns in my cycle, and kinder to myself, there is a kindness that stems from understanding. I am able to hear my body whisper before it forces me to lay down and listen to the opera of its screams.

Bloom is Ksh 500/=, to purchase it in Nairobi please contact Rosemary via 0731224223. To purchase in Mombasa please contact me via 0746622833 or yellowendoflower@gmail.com.

When you look at a rose from the top, it is difficult to see the thorns beneath the blossomed petals. Sometimes the exterior appearances make people doubt the pain, but just like the sting of the thorn is very real so is the invisible pain that has somehow been branded as normal.

Through the years I have learned to bloom despite the thorns.

Auntie Flo’s Words of Wisdom

Auntie Flo’ gave me a dose of common sense earlier this year. As she ended her TEN-day visit, which was much longer than she was welcome, she said, ‘Ess, I am the tip of the iceberg. I’m just here to show you what’s going on within.’

I was upset! First, you overstay your welcome, which is very expensive by the way. I didn’t know that many pads could be used in a month, then you want to get all ‘Snippets from a wise lady’ on me. Puh-lease.

But there is something about truth. It sinks into the deepest part of your soul unless you suffocate it with a blanket of ‘What-do-you-think-you-are-doing-here?’. I tried to use this blanket, but truth kicked like a baby in utero after the mama has had a cold sweet drink. I could just see the kicks all over, to boot, my soul, in the depths of my belly, was playing ‘Moves Like Jagger’ and I had to stop and listen to the music. It wasn’t a coincidence.

After you’ve bled for 10 days you sober up. Whatever stupor of denial you were in ends with immediate effect. And then you begin to process the words that were said.

Zen Function Wellness puts it really well, ‘Your period is like a report card, either reporting that you have fantastic hormonal balance, a nourished and well functioning system with easy, smooth, predictable periods, or that you may have a deeper health issue resulting in a not-so-great report card with irregularity, cramps, pain, nausea, severely erratic moods.

Knowing your cycle is actually a wonderful tool that women get to have to help keep track of their health status, a monthly report on if they should pay a bit more attention to their health and their bodies.’

The thing that I liked about report cards in school is that there was always room for improvement. In Class 3 I aced my Math test and the teacher wrote, ‘ Good job! The sky is the limit.’ Then, I was over the moon. Now I know that I should always strive for better. For well-balanced hormones, for smooth skin instead of fewer pimples, for a regular, pain-free period.

As I reviewed my period that month, I knew that I was failing. Auntie Flo’s extended visit was my body’s way of telling me that something was not right. That I needed to pay attention to my internal environment and make necessary changes. I am still recovering from that bad month, it affected my whole cycle by adding an extra day to my regular cycle, which is one day too long. But, I am working on getting my body back to normal.

This week I am doing a period audit, going over my period diary and plotting graphs to see the cycle from another perspective. When you zoom out, you see the bigger picture.

Have you done your period audit for the year? Here are some questions that can answer to get the conversation going,

How has your cycle been this year? Regular or Irregular? Painful?

What has your body been trying to tell you?

What changes are you making to boost your health?

If you would like to know what to look out for in your cycle, how to keep a period diary and chart the patterns, keep it locked here. My book ‘Bloom – A practical guide for your period journey’ is out this week. I am extremely excited to equip and empower more girls and women to track their periods and begin to decipher what their bodies are trying to tell them.

Happy Blooming!

 

 

 

Endo Pain Management Tips

Endometriosis is unique. Two women can suffer from Endometriosis but exhibit different symptoms and experience different levels of pain. What is universal though is, Endo sucks. I’m yet to meet a woman who thinks having Endometriosis is plain exciting and exhilarating. If anything, it takes out the light from aspects of life. Pain has a way of dulling experiences.

Different things work for different people. You may have to try different things before you find what works, but when you do, hang on to it with all you’ve got.

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For me, ingesting Apple Cider Vinegar was a life saver. Literally. The pain levels went from unbearable ‘I’m.dying’ to a cramp here and there. Praise be to God (do I hear an Amen?)

Here are a few Endo pain management tips courtesy of Patty’s Beauty World that you can try out.

*A hot bath with 2 cups of Epsom salts mixed in, they also sell lavender Epsom salts.

* A heating pad.

*Gluten free probiotics daily and keep them in fridge, no dairy, red meat, soy, gluten and flaxseed.

*A book by Julie daniluk is good lots of recipes , book is called meals that heal inflammation.

*A tens machine can help pain, buy it at some pharmacies or on amazon, got mine for $35 on amazon.

*Castor oil soaked in a small all cotton towel, then squeeze out excess oil and place on your tummy. Then place a plastic bag on top of towel, then place a heating pad. Leave on for one hour lying down relaxing. Repeat 3x week and everyday on your period, it will help with pain, indigestion, bloating. The more you do it the better it works over time.

*Light exercise like yoga or pilates. Light stretching, yoga and pilates.

*Also I drink almond milk 35 calories instead . Peppermint tea, lavender tea, chamomile tea helps, dandelion or dandelion root tea and chai tea.

*Visanne is an endo drug that has helped a lot of women.

*Acupuncture can also help alleviate pain too.

*Ginger capsules 250mg 4x a day, Helps with cramps and nausea and it’s all natural. Also turmeric capsules daily helps with inflammation and pain. To add taste to your tea use manuka honey if available.

*Melatonin 20mg at bed will help you sleep and it is all natural. The body produces melatonin but some do not produce enough, so these pills really work great and they are all natural.

*Lavender essential oil is good to calm you and help with pain. Rub a few drops on your tummy to ease pain, and if you have a headache rub a couple of drops on your forehead. Also a drop of essential oil lavender on each temple. You can even smell it a little to calm you down.

Have you tried something that has worked for you and you’d like to share with other ladies? Please send me an email yellowendoflower@gmail.com and I’ll post it.

All the best. I pray that you find something that works and healing all around.

Blessings upon blessings,

Ess

6 Tips To Prepare For Surgery

The words, ‘we need to operate’ shook me in my boots. The next couple of days were a blur. I didn’t know what to expect so I didn’t really prepare myself psychologically or physically for that matter. I was told that it would be a day procedure, so I took a matatu to the hospital at 9am, and I planned to take a matatu back home. Only to wake up and find that the anesthesia would take hours to wear off, and during that time, my mouth would speak more words than usual and I would be floating and dreamy. Thank God for angels, who came just in time to save me from staggering err floating to the matatu stage.

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When you hear the words, “We need to operate”, here are a few things you can do to prepare for the big day:

  1. Seek a second opinion

If you have any doubt about a suggested procedure, please seek a second opinion. Remember the factors to consider when seeking a second opinion.

       2. Get more information

Read widely about the procedure and anesthesia options. Talk to other people who have undergone the surgery online and offline about the procedure and it’s effects on your body.

Discuss with your doctor any history of allergies or side effects to drugs. Don’t leave anything out, a small detail could save your life.

Find out what you need to do to prepare for the surgery, foods you should increase, supplements you should or shouldn’t take. Confirm if you they will need you to have bare nails.

         3. Evaluate the options

If time allows, visit the hospital options then make an informed decision. Postoperative care is important as the doctor is not able to be with you during your whole stay.

Look at the other services offered by the hospital and see how prepared they are in case of an emergency.

         4. Pray and keep hope alive

Pray! Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 NLT)

Make a thanksgiving jar, and write the things that you are thankful for, both the big and the small. Allow your mind to focus on the good aspects of life.

         5. Prepare ahead

Inform your next of kin that you will be going to hospital and having an operation done.

Arrange for someone to drop you off and help you with the admission process. On the day of discharge, have someone help you with the process so that you can rest as you prepare to go back home.

Back at home, organize meals in advance that need minimal preparation. Plan to be off your feet for the next couple of days. Get someone to help you with the housework as you get your strength back.

         6. Find a support group

There are many other women who are walking the same path that you are. Their first hand experience means that they understand the journey better. Find a group and keep in contact, let them remind you that you are not alone and it gets better. Some of the closest bonds are formed in times of pain.

All the best! I pray you have a successful surgery and a swift healing process.

Blessings,

Ess

 

Endometriosis Is Real and Resilient-32 Surgeries Later

Time and time again, I meet a woman who has been strongly advised to have her uterus removed because it’s removal will cure Endometriosis.

This myth needs to be dispelled from the mountain tops.

“A hysterectomy is not a cure for Endometriosis.”

Meet Patricia Roy, a woman with strength beyond words. A woman whose had 32 surgeries because of Endometriosis. From her we learn that Endo is real. Endo is resilient; but we are more than Endo.

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Hi! My name is Patricia and I am 41 years old. My period started at the age of 14, and I couldn’t wait to start my period. It meant I was a woman in my eyes. I started having period issues at 15 years old. My mom took me to my sisters gyno because my sister had endometriosis and I was showing symptoms. After I saw the gyno he did surgery and I was diagnosed with endometriosis at 16.

When I was first diagnosed i didn’t worry about it, because it wasn’t severe. But I was put in birth control to help with my periods, then the pain started increasing and was put on Depo provera injections. Those didn’t work so I was put on Lupron and that also did not help. I had many surgeries to clean out the endometriosis and at 21 it was decided a full hysterectomy would be best for stage 4 endo. I thought it would be a cure, but it was not a cure.

I do regret the hysterectomy. Because it’s not a cure. And I always wanted a baby if my own. It was a very dark time in my life when I had my hysterectomy, my writing helped me cope.

 

This disease changed my life in many ways. I was unable to finish college because I was too sick. I worked off and on but eventually I had to be put on disability. Emotionally my journey with this illness has caused me a lot of anxiety and panic attacks.

I have had 32 surgeries so far and I currently have endo on my bladder and cysts all over my pelvis. I started a support group on facebook called Sisters in Yellow.

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I currently started writing for a magazine called  Streetfashion I am the beauty editor. Although at the moment it doesn’t pay, so I look at it as a learning experience. I always wanted to be a writer since I was little. I write poetry and song lyrics. My writing has gotten me through a lot of dark times, dealing with this disease.

My advice to other women is to take it one day at a time, and to find a hobby that takes your mind off the pain. I’ve also come across a lot of pain methods that are natural and can be done in the comfort of your home. I have a beauty page where I share home pain methods.

My favorite flowers are Daisy or Calalily. My favorite color is light purple.

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The beautiful thing about Patricia is that she has not let Endo dull her sparkle. 32 surgeries later, she still has a smile on her face and light to shine to the rest of the world.

Be encouraged, you are not alone. Shine where you are.

Blessings,

Ess

Why I Keep A Period Diary

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Ever since I was a little girl , I always kept a diary. It was my outlet and a way of keeping a record of the little details of my life.  Unfortunately, I was not very detailed about my periods and their patterns, so when I needed this information, it was nowhere to be found. I answered the doctor with a lot of ‘Umm, I can’t quite remember’ and blank looks with several breaks in between as I tried to run up and down the corridors of my memory trying to remember key details. I am sure that there are many ‘little’ important details that I left out during these consultations.

After many years of trying (and failing) to recall from memory I finally discovered the Period Diary app and it literally changed my life. I was finally able to document my period journey daily, and a couple of months later I begun to recognize patterns in my cycle.

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I quickly realized that my menstrual cycle is not just about the day(s) that I shed the lining  of my uterus. It is about what I experience through the whole cycle, my emotions, diet , ovulation. It is the vaginal discharge all through, the color and texture of the actual shedding. Keeping a period diary has helped me to be more in control of my body, as I know what it’s triggers are and what to anticipate at different times. I am definitely more prepared for the occasional pain, PMS symptoms and actual periods.

Keeping a diary has helped me to see the cause and effect of different things that I’ve tried. For instance, when I detoxed and started taking an Apple Cider Vinegar elixir every morning the inflammation and pain during my cycle significantly reduced. I also figured out that the monthly headaches were reducing over the months, so I was definitely doing something right.

I recommend keeping a period diary to all women, both young and old, whether you have complications or not. It helps you to understand your body, it’s functions and your emotions.

Mothers with teenage daughters, I urge you to ask your girls to keep a period diary as soon as they start their periods. After every couple of months, sit down and review it with them. Talk about the patterns that you both recognize. Many girls don’t know what a normal period is. They often just take their periods as they are,  persevere, until they are adults and realize that something was wrong all along.

There are several period diary apps that you can choose from on the Play store. This is the one that has worked best for me.

If you opt to keep a physical diary, these are some of the details to record:

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Blessings,

Ess