Where Dreams Fizzle And Fade~ Endo And Your Career

The sight of blood changed my mind. It wasn’t so much the sight, as it was the experience as a whole, the texture, the colour and the pain. As a little girl, I spent hours daydreaming of myself treating little children and seeing them smile again. Having been well acquainted with the pediatrician, it was only natural for me to follow in her footsteps.

My dreams trickled away, I can’t tell you the day the tap run dry, but I can tell you the days there was short supply. In all of the tales, my period is the constant. For someone who thought they could handle sick people and blood, I was awfully grossed out by my own blood, and worse still, it made me sick.

My energy was sapped, I’d writhe around in pain on the cold tiled floor and finally lie in a pool of my tears. My periods killed my dreams.

When I started working, it only got worse. The pain was disruptive and destructive. It came anytime and lasted as long as it wanted. My reproductive system dictated my lifestyle and work schedule. I had lovely employers who accommodated me and my body’s failures. My second place of work was not as flexible and the stress of the workplace took a toll on me. I cried everyday without fail, my body hurt, and my mind was never at rest, so I left. I left to rest and to start a life that could accommodate my life and my body’s quirks.

An endo-sister recently shared with me how she’d have made different choices in her career if she knew it was Endo. I completely understood where she was coming from. My endo journey has taught me that it is okay to start over, to learn a new skill, and to figure it out as you go. My greatest lesson is: It is good to plan, but when your plan is disrupted, adjust to what life hurls your way.

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#31 Days Of Endo ~ Patricia Roy

Day 4:)

Endometriosis is real. It is not a fictional pain, it is real and it affects 1 in 10 women. Removing one’s uterus is not a cure for Endometriosis, Patricia Roy shares with us her story of pain, courage, and hope. She first shared her story with me in 2017.

She is based in the United States and she supports her fellow endo warriors and shares an array of home remedies on her social media sites.
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Hi! My name is Patricia and I am 41 years old. My period started at the age of 14, and I couldn’t wait to start my period. It meant I was a woman in my eyes. The period issues began when I was 15 years old. My mom took me to my sisters’ gyno because my sister had endometriosis and I was showing symptoms. After I saw the gyno he did surgery and I was diagnosed with endometriosis at 16.

When I was first diagnosed I didn’t worry about it, because it wasn’t severe. But I was put on birth control to help with my periods. When the pain started increasing I was put on Depo provera injections. Those didn’t work, so I was put on Lupron and that also did not help. I had many surgeries to clean out the endometriosis and at 21 it was decided a full hysterectomy would be best for stage 4 endo. I thought it would be a cure, but it was not a cure.

I do regret the hysterectomy. Because it’s not a cure. And I always wanted a baby if my own. It was a very dark time in my life when I had my hysterectomy, my writing helped me cope.

 

This disease changed my life in many ways. I was unable to finish college because I was too sick. I worked off and on but eventually I had to be put on disability. Emotionally my journey with this illness has caused me a lot of anxiety and panic attacks.

I have had 32 surgeries so far and I currently have endo on my bladder and cysts all over my pelvis. I started a support group on facebook called Sisters in Yellow.

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I currently started writing for a magazine called  Streetfashion, I am the beauty editor.I always wanted to be a writer since I was little. I write poetry and song lyrics. My writing has gotten me through a lot of dark times, dealing with this disease.

My advice to other women is to take it one day at a time, and to find a hobby that takes your mind off the pain. I’ve also come across a lot of pain methods that are natural and can be done in the comfort of your home. I have a beauty page where I share home pain methods.

My favorite flowers are Daisy or Calalily.

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The beautiful thing about Patricia is that she has not let Endo dull her sparkle. 32 surgeries later, she still has a smile on her face and light to shine to the rest of the world.

Thank you for sharing with us, Patricia. Your story is an encouragement to many sisters. Keep writing and shining!

Reclaiming What Endo Stole From Me

Happy New Year Everybody!

I have this spring in my step after getting some much-needed rest and relaxation.

A few days before Christmas, I met up with a few Endo warriors and we talked, laughed, and loved being in a space where we could identify with each other. I have many thoughts on Endo, but the one that struck me during this meet is that Endo is  THIEF.

Endo is the kind of person who comes into your house and turns it upside down, a person who doesn’t respect boundaries and wants to leave a mark on every part of your life. The one who drives you up the wall and then has the nerve to ask what the matter is. The biggest naysayer, the one who makes you doubt yourself, your abilities and your dreams.  Endo is like a rat that bites your toe as it blows, then one day it turns into a vicious animal and eats up your whole foot. Endo is a sneaky thief that deserves to be lynched in public, in other words, we need a cure.

“What has Endo stolen from you?”I asked the ladies.

When it was my turn to speak, I shuddered at the thought. Over ten years ago, I loved to hike, in fact, the revolutionary period where Endo reared its ugly head was on Mount Kenya. I had this dream to climb Mount Kilimanjaro and participate in other exciting adventures. These dreams and desires died a natural death, endo has a way of suffocating the life out of dreams. When flare-ups, chronic fatigue, and emergency visits are the things that you think about often, you forget that your heart can beat for anything else other than survival.

 

Endo stole a part of my life and I even forgot about it. After the meeting, I was determined to reclaim what Endo stole from me. Over Christmas, I had a chance to walk along Lake Elementaita, it was beautiful and humbling. It was my first walk clad in sneakers in 11 years. I didn’t feel the weight of my daughter on my back, I felt liberated and restored. If my sneakers could talk, they would tell a tale, one filled with adventure.

 

I’m writing down a list of the things that Endo stole from me and reclaiming them one by one.

Here’s to rediscovering ourselves post-endo, pursuing adventure and dreams coming true in 2018.

Happy New Year!

 

Yellow Flower Mail

The cold floor and I were once good friends, not by chance but as a result of circumstances. When Auntie Flo’ checked in, the pain would overwhelm me and the cold floor was my happy place. The pain felt like a furnace was in my belly, the painkillers seemed like drops of water trying to put out a raging fire.

My eyes were always moist, dust particles had an eviction notice every other day. Crying sessions were part of my routine, the pain made me feel like God, the world and my body were against me, no one wanted me to prosper. As I balanced on my sides I wasn’t seeking prosperity, it was survival I was after. I just wanted to survive, to be well, to be pain-free.

Eight years later, my story has changed, I’ve come a long way and the pain has subsided, I have energy and I have a testimony.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (AMP)

Blessed [gratefully praised and adored] be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts and encourages us in every trouble so that we will be able to comfort and encourage those who are in any kind of trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

I want to share the comfort that I have received with other ladies fighting Endo in Kenya through handwritten letters of hope.

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If you are an Endowarrior living in Kenya and you would like to receive Yellow Flower Mail please fill in the form below and I’ll get writing.

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/M6G3NQ2

If you would like to support women living with Endometriosis please send me an email via yellowendoflower@gmail.com and I will be in touch.