When Healing Was An Idol

I idolized healing.

It was the destination, my checkbox before I could be happy, better yet, live my life. It was the proverbial ‘GO’ in Monopoly that I needed to pass before I could get $200. It was exactly what I lived for. What I craved. What I needed.

Then it didn’t happen.

Needless to say, I was crushed. Life came to a standstill, but it’s not exactly like it was moving, remember it was standing still because I was waiting for a miracle. As I stood, the clock kept ticking and tocking, and time, precious time, kept going. My dreams, those that were time sensitive, well they just fizzled out, others became forgotten and life went as it may.

#Mybestlifenow was not a hashtag I would have used, #survivor #barelysurviving were more apt for any post that I would make. Nothing was happening, well a lot was happening, I was sinking into a hole, frustrated that I was not moving forward.

It was a hard place to be.

One day I saw the light, I realized that healing may not be a destination. I took control of what I could control and started making small steps, taking responsibility for my happiness.

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God has brought me a long way, and I am not where I used to be. Now I am making the most of what I have in my hands. I may not choose my cards, but I can choose to have joy. As I have obeyed, the healing has come. This time it is not the focus, it is not an idol.

Here’s to choosing joy, remaining obedient, shining your light, keeping hope alive and keeping God at His rightful place.

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Endometriosis Is Real and Resilient-32 Surgeries Later

Time and time again, I meet a woman who has been strongly advised to have her uterus removed because it’s removal will cure Endometriosis.

This myth needs to be dispelled from the mountain tops.

“A hysterectomy is not a cure for Endometriosis.”

Meet Patricia Roy, a woman with strength beyond words. A woman whose had 32 surgeries because of Endometriosis. From her we learn that Endo is real. Endo is resilient; but we are more than Endo.

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Hi! My name is Patricia and I am 41 years old. My period started at the age of 14, and I couldn’t wait to start my period. It meant I was a woman in my eyes. I started having period issues at 15 years old. My mom took me to my sisters gyno because my sister had endometriosis and I was showing symptoms. After I saw the gyno he did surgery and I was diagnosed with endometriosis at 16.

When I was first diagnosed i didn’t worry about it, because it wasn’t severe. But I was put in birth control to help with my periods, then the pain started increasing and was put on Depo provera injections. Those didn’t work so I was put on Lupron and that also did not help. I had many surgeries to clean out the endometriosis and at 21 it was decided a full hysterectomy would be best for stage 4 endo. I thought it would be a cure, but it was not a cure.

I do regret the hysterectomy. Because it’s not a cure. And I always wanted a baby if my own. It was a very dark time in my life when I had my hysterectomy, my writing helped me cope.

 

This disease changed my life in many ways. I was unable to finish college because I was too sick. I worked off and on but eventually I had to be put on disability. Emotionally my journey with this illness has caused me a lot of anxiety and panic attacks.

I have had 32 surgeries so far and I currently have endo on my bladder and cysts all over my pelvis. I started a support group on facebook called Sisters in Yellow.

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I currently started writing for a magazine called  Streetfashion I am the beauty editor. Although at the moment it doesn’t pay, so I look at it as a learning experience. I always wanted to be a writer since I was little. I write poetry and song lyrics. My writing has gotten me through a lot of dark times, dealing with this disease.

My advice to other women is to take it one day at a time, and to find a hobby that takes your mind off the pain. I’ve also come across a lot of pain methods that are natural and can be done in the comfort of your home. I have a beauty page where I share home pain methods.

My favorite flowers are Daisy or Calalily. My favorite color is light purple.

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The beautiful thing about Patricia is that she has not let Endo dull her sparkle. 32 surgeries later, she still has a smile on her face and light to shine to the rest of the world.

Be encouraged, you are not alone. Shine where you are.

Blessings,

Ess

Why I Keep A Period Diary

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Ever since I was a little girl , I always kept a diary. It was my outlet and a way of keeping a record of the little details of my life.  Unfortunately, I was not very detailed about my periods and their patterns, so when I needed this information, it was nowhere to be found. I answered the doctor with a lot of ‘Umm, I can’t quite remember’ and blank looks with several breaks in between as I tried to run up and down the corridors of my memory trying to remember key details. I am sure that there are many ‘little’ important details that I left out during these consultations.

After many years of trying (and failing) to recall from memory I finally discovered the Period Diary app and it literally changed my life. I was finally able to document my period journey daily, and a couple of months later I begun to recognize patterns in my cycle.

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I quickly realized that my menstrual cycle is not just about the day(s) that I shed the lining  of my uterus. It is about what I experience through the whole cycle, my emotions, diet , ovulation. It is the vaginal discharge all through, the color and texture of the actual shedding. Keeping a period diary has helped me to be more in control of my body, as I know what it’s triggers are and what to anticipate at different times. I am definitely more prepared for the occasional pain, PMS symptoms and actual periods.

Keeping a diary has helped me to see the cause and effect of different things that I’ve tried. For instance, when I detoxed and started taking an Apple Cider Vinegar elixir every morning the inflammation and pain during my cycle significantly reduced. I also figured out that the monthly headaches were reducing over the months, so I was definitely doing something right.

I recommend keeping a period diary to all women, both young and old, whether you have complications or not. It helps you to understand your body, it’s functions and your emotions.

Mothers with teenage daughters, I urge you to ask your girls to keep a period diary as soon as they start their periods. After every couple of months, sit down and review it with them. Talk about the patterns that you both recognize. Many girls don’t know what a normal period is. They often just take their periods as they are,  persevere, until they are adults and realize that something was wrong all along.

There are several period diary apps that you can choose from on the Play store. This is the one that has worked best for me.

If you opt to keep a physical diary, these are some of the details to record:

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Blessings,

Ess

Seeking A Second Opinion

Never be afraid to ask questions about  your body and the things that you have been told it has or doesn’t have or can and can’t do.

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After a long time of searching for someone to believe your symptoms and give you a diagnosis, it is possible to feel an allegiance to the doctor who finally puts a name to the pain or discomfort. Sometimes it is important to get a second opinion, to confirm that the diagnosis and suggested methods of treatment are the most appropriate for your case.

You need to notify your current doctor so that they can avail copies of your imaging studies, medical records, lab and test results for review. Some doctors may be uneasy about you getting a second opinion, in such cases, stick to your gut feeling and go in with an open mind.

Look for a doctor:

a) who doesn’t have a personal or professional relationship with your current doctor. This will help your healthcare to remain the primary objective.

b) who has the training and experience to offer fresh insight into your condition. Do not move from a Gynecologist to a General Practitioner when dealing with Endometriosis.

It is important to note that different doctors’ school of thought, training, exposure and methods may cause them to differ in opinion. The diagnosis may even change. If the opinions of these doctors differ to a large extent then it may be wise to seek a third opinion to make a decision, and hope that the diagnosis and treatment methods lean more to one of the two.

All in all, my prayer is that you find a specialist who will walk with you and give you the care that you need.

Blessings,

Ess

 

Preparing To Visit To The Gynecologist

Visiting a gynecologist for the first time can be confusing and exhausting. I was ill-prepared for my first visit, I barely knew what to expect which made my experience harder than it needed to be.

Over the years, I have come up with a preparation strategy that has yielded great results. I find my visits to the gynecologist now more comprehensive, and the waiting room does not discourage me.

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Here are some tips to help you prepare for your visits to the gynecologist.

1. Call in advance

Doctors are busy people. It is wise to call in advance and make sure that the doctor will be in on the day that you want to go. If the Doctor is very busy and constantly in theatre, call on the day to confirm that he will be in.

If the doctor sees patients by appointment only, be sure to make an appointment in advance.

If the doctor sees patients on a first come, first served basis, find out what time he comes in and leaves, then plan to be there in good time.

Confirm payment terms in advance; if you are using insurance, find out if they accept your insurance cover and if you have to co-pay. If you are paying cash, confirm the amount for first visit and subsequent visits. Clarify the terms of payment accepted, if they accept credit card or M-Pesa or cash.

 2. Write down the key points of your story 

For the doctor to treat you well, it is best if s/he hears the whole story, from the beginning. Write down the key points of your story so that you can refer to them, when asked ‘How can I help you today?’.

Points you can consider:

When did you start your periods? How were they? Your current cycle pattern? If you’ve had a diagnosis made, note down dates. Current symptoms you are experiencing and when they begun. Any family history that s/he should be aware of? Which medicines have you tried and what was your experience? Any drug allergies

3. Carry supporting documents

If you’ve had diagnostic tests done, carry the results so that the doctor can have a look at them . If you are currently taking any medication, carry it for the doctor to see.

4. Write down questions and concerns you may have

Did you read something on google that sparked a number of questions? Note them down. As you ask the questions, remember that google is not a Doctor.

5. Have a meal and carry a form of entertainment

Waiting rooms can be boring and morbid. Sometimes you meet happy-go-lucky people, and sometimes you meet people who’d rather sit in silence. To avoid prolonged small talk that may or may not be appreciated, carry a form of entertainment to keep your mind off of the time you spend waiting.

Waiting can make you hungry, if you can, have a meal before you enter the waiting room.

All the best. As you go, pray that God who knit you in your mother’s womb will give the doctor divine wisdom to treat you.

Blessings,

Ess

10 Factors To Consider When Choosing A Gynaecologist

My first visit to the gynecologist was not what I expected; I was confused, afraid and uncomfortable. After many hours in the waiting room, I finally walked in and saw him. The doctor was a middle aged man who was not too chatty or ‘warm’ but he got the job done. I was young and naive; I was scared because the pain in my abdomen was getting worse as the days went by. I was all alone and looking for consolation but the doctor’s personality was not very warm. In retrospect, I would have chosen differently.

I didn’t really have a criteria when choosing the doctor. After various campus clinic with recurrent pain, the campus doctor just told me to go see one of the doctors on the insurance list. I used the nursery rhyme ‘inky pinky ponky’ to help me choose one. There was nothing objective about this choice; though the campus doctor backed my decision.

Over the years, as I’ve turned different chapters in my health story I’ve had to choose other gynecologists. A couple of doctors later, I finally have a list of factors that I consider before I settle on a gynecologist.

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1. Your need

It is important to know why you are looking for a gynecologist. Is it for a routine visit-pap smear, mammogram, vaccine? Are you looking for an obstetrician to walk with you through your pregnancy? Are you having complications with your period-pain, irregular menses, other condition such as PID, Endometriosis, PCOS? Are you having a difficult time conceiving?

2. The doctors speciality

Gynecologists are not exactly a one size fits all.

Some conditions are better treated by a specialist. Based on your need, consider what the doctor specializes in, then narrow down the list. If your struggling to conceive, a fertility specialist would be a better fit compared to an Obs/Gyn.

3. Payment services

If you are using an insurance cover, find out if the doctor take your insurance cover and what the limit is. It is also important to inquire what the consultation fee is, just incase you need to pay the consultant out of pocket.

4. Availability

Does the doctor have very long lines? Are they only available on certain days? Are they available on phone in case of an emergency? If your current schedule is not flexible then a busy doctor will be difficult to keep up with.

5. Hospitals They Can Operate At

Incase you need to be admitted and have a surgery, find out if the doctor can perform the surgery at your preferred hospitals.

6. Testimonials

Ask around and objectively analyze other people’s experiences with the doctor. Remember that everyone’s experience is personal and two people may differ in opinion.

Personal Preferences

7. Gender

Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor? Your doctor should make you feel comfortable and not like your privacy is being infringed upon.

8. Age

Do you prefer a young doctor or an older one with more motherly or fatherly tendencies? Consider which age group makes you feel more at ease.

9. Faith/Religion

If you feel a doctor who shares your faith beliefs will be able to walk with you better, look for one.

10. Your Instinct

Visit the doctor and trust your instinct, listen to your inner voice. Make sure you settle for a doctor who inspires confidence, and lets you know that you’ve been heard and are in safe hands.

All the best in your search.

Blessings,

Ess

When Sex Hurts #TheKenyanEndoStory

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Sex is supposed to be synonymous with pleasure. Sometimes, it is not, and pain takes the place of pleasure. Over time, it is possible for this to strain a marriage. One of the symptoms of Endometriosis is pain during or after sex.

Pain during sex is seldom talked about and many women and marriages are suffering in silence. In honor of Endometriosis Awareness Month earlier this year, I asked Maggie Gitu, a Marriage and Family Therapist and Sex therapist to expound on what to do when sex hurts because of endometriosis or adenomyosis.

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Sex is one of the most important and fun ways for married couples to connect. Painful sex, however, is no one’s idea of a good time. Painful sexual intercouse, also known as dyspareunia, is the persistent pain that occurs during or after sexual intercourse. Dyspareunia can occur as a result of a variety of issues such as insufficient lubrication, trauma, surgery or physical conditions such as vaginismus, endometriosis or adenomyosis. Endometriosis is caused when tissue that lines the uterus grows outside of the uterus, while adenomyosis happens when uterine tissue grown into the uterine wall. Both of these conditions can interfere with sexual intercourse.

While the presence of endometriosis or adenomyosis can interfere with a couple’s sexual pleasure, there is no need for sexual intimacy to cease altogether. So what’s a couple to do?

Communicate:

It may sound cliché but it’s absolutely true. It’s important for a couple to communicate openly and honestly about what is happening in their marital bed. Even going for doctor visits together would be helpful in allowing male partners to hear the information directly from a qualified medical professional, which may increase their understanding and empathy for their female partners.

It is also important to allow room in the marriage for honesty: room to speak honestly about the challenges of having to deal with a condition, irritation at having to avoid certain sexual positions that you would want to try but can’t because of the pain to the partner, the guilt or shame that is common with partners who feel like they are being denied the sexual adventures they imagined they would have. Remember that these feelings are about the situation, not the person. The bottom line is that openness and honesty will be crucial if a couple is to enjoy their sex life.

Lose It:

Lose the guilt, because none of this is your fault, and even when/where you could have done better, now you can because now you know better. Lose the blame; again, this serves no purpose in enhancing the intimacy in your marriage. Accept that this is the situation that you’re in, find a competent doctor to work with you and move forward determined to enjoy your sex life together, inspite of a diagnosis of endometriosis/adenomyosis. Lose the bad attitude; it’s going to destroy your sex life, which will in turn negatively impact other aspects of your marriage. Lose anything and everything that will interfere with your ability to connect as a couple. If you need more support, more information, or additional medical intervention, all you ever have to do is ask, so ask! Your doctor will advise you on all the options that are available. Lose the pressure to be perfect; sex is about connection, intimacy and fun not an Olympic performance with a score board. Relax into it; remember that you are not alone, and there is help and support to be found for those who take the time to seek. 

Attitude:

When it comes to sex, attitude is everything. Even without the added challenges of endometriosis or adenomyosis, the attitude a couple has about the kind of sex they want to have really does make all the difference. Instead of seeing these conditions in a strictly negative light, try to challenge yourselves on all the positive things that can come out of this, for example, the sexual positions that you hadn’t even thought to try might be exactly what you need in order to have sex life that you want.

Experiment and Have Fun:

Sex should be fun, so make it fun and experiment. As a couple, be open to different sexual positions, for example, while the missionary position may be painful for some women, it may be easier for you but you’ll never know unless you try. In addition, begin to figure out what sequences work best and which ones are best left alone e.g. some women find it easier to begin with one sexual position and then move on to other positions while some find that maintaining a single position is easiest on them. The point is, experiment! Make a game of it by coming up with a funny ranking system that you can both look forward to contributing to; be sure to add an exciting reward system 😉

Part of experimentation is understanding that sexual intercourse is not the only way to enjoy sexual intimacy. In other words, what are your sexual limits? What are you willing to try, even once? Developing your own sexual ‘playlist’ as you seek to increase your repertoire can be a fun way to take the pressure off by focusing on what feels good, not what ‘should’ feel good. With the right attitude, the issue may no longer be what the couple can’t do but instead be all the things they haven’t – yet. The sexual repertoire is endless so experiment and find out what works best for you.

A happy healthy sex life is vital for any couple and despite having a diagnosis of endometriosis/adenomyosis, it is achievable with communication, the right attitude and a sense of fun.

If you would like get in touch with Maggie, you can reach her via maggiegitu@hotmail.com, +254 734 757 785 or @MaggietheMezzo .

I initially shared this post on my other blog Bibi2be.com

Pain during sex affects a woman and her relationship. My heart has had a burden for women who are going through a hard time in this area. This August, I will be hosting an event to support women who have struggled with pain during sex and the emotional turmoil that it comes with.

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If you are a woman living with Endometriosis in Kenya who would be interested in talking about pain during sex more candidly with a small group of women facing the same challenge and a counselor, please send me an email via yellowendoflower@gmail.com and I’ll send you more details. Due to the nature of the conversation, the sessions will be very small.

Blessings,

Ess

#TheKenyanEndoStory : Nurah Palesa

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The first Kenyan Endo warrior sharing her story with us is Nurah Palesa. Hers is a story of pain, despair, strength, courage and hope.

Before I turned 10, the year that pain became the filter to which I would see life, I was eagerly awaiting my periods. I looked forward to it like a boy would await his ceremonial rites of passage. I wanted to see the drops of blood on my underwear and have a crazy happy dance celebrating my new life as a woman.

 

I am Queen Nurah, and at the age of 25 I have lived with Endometriosis for 15 years now. I run on happiness. There is no one thing that makes me happy, a combination of the things that pull my heart strings is how I live. As for my profession, let’s just say that I am a Storyteller and Poet.

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Where it all begun

 

The pain begun immediately I started my periods. I was sitting in the back of the class, talking as usual and ignoring what the teacher was writing on the board. Then my insides were attacking me. It felt like someone had run a knife across my abdomen over and over again. I shakily put up my hand and asked if I could go to the bathroom.

When I got into the cubicle, something told me to check my underwear and hoorah I had blood. But I couldn’t do the crazy happy dance, not with the pain that I was feeling.

I remember going to one of the “nice” female teachers and telling her I got my period and that I was in intense pain. She was nice, she showed me how to put a pad on and for the pain she said that it was normal and hot water would help. “Normal? Are you crazy, I feel like I’m dying!” I thought to myself as I gave her a look that showed I thought she was crazy.

Maybe two hours later, I don’t exactly remember, my mother was called because now I was wailing and “causing a scene”. Hehehe, causing a scene.

At the end of the day my mom gave me Syndol. Yep Syndol. That confirmed my suspicion that the pain I had was not normal and for the next 7 days I suffered.

 

Managing the pain

For 13 years I was subjected to excruciating pain before my periods, during my periods and 3 days after my periods. In total I was in pain 15 days out of the month.

I ended up having a cocktail of painkillers in my bags. Here is the list with what I started to what I take now:

  • Syndol (4-6 pills in an hour/day)
  • Betapyn (5-6)
  • Postan (10)
  • Brufen (10)
  • Buscopan (10-12)
  • Buscopan plus (it would land in my stomach and I would throw up immediately)
  • iBoprufen (40 mg 6, 80mg 7-8)
  • Vykadin (6)
  • And now I’m on tramadol 100mg and when the pain gets really bad I go for the shot.

And while I was on these pain meds I sometimes found that mixing them would help. And when I say help, I mean level the pain to a degree that I could function and not snap at people.

The pain haze of life is amazing. It changes how you look at everything and how you react. Physical pain makes life 300 times worse. Well for me. Someone else could be different.

I had the worst mood swings, had a short fuse and basically I would just want to cry and be alone most of the time. I am generally a nice, gentle happy Queen, but you don’t want to make me mad when I am in pain.

Oh wait, did I forgot to mention that I would get high off the pain meds… lol aaaand that I was a heavy alcohol drinker. For 7 good years.

The combination of alcohol and a cocktail of pain meds made the pain bearable.

I remember when I joined uni and my girlfriends would watch me pack my clutch bag with tampons and meds (3 strips of 10 so basically 30 pills) and they would ask if I was ok. Little did they know that I would have gone through 2 of the strips by midnight.

I would literally get high just to escape the pain.

When I was 22, fresh out of rehab (because others thought that alcohol was the problem) the pain kicked up a notch.

 

Finally, I got a diagnosis

 

Lower back pain and shoulder pain had kicked in, and I needed to know that there was a name for what I was going through. I went to see a gynaecologist and he diagnosed me with Endometriosis. I thought that finally I can get rid of the pain for good now that it’s an actual disease.

I went online and decided to learn all I could about my condition. That’s the type of person I am, I read and research on topics that are of interest to me. So I did what I do best; gather intel.

I found out that foods (which I had always known, I’m very strict with what I eat.) contributed to the pain levels and there was a diet I could start.

Eh….that diet did not work. In fact I ended up increasing my pain and losing even more weight.As for the endo diet, which is vegetarian I really tried… My body just didn’t accept it.. And recently I discovered that diets don’t work for everyone,  our blood types play a big role in the foods we need and as an O+ I need meat.. (Sticking to white)
So again I run around for another year looking for a solution and I found one. Or so I thought.

I went through a Laparoscopy where The Gynaecologist lasered the extra endometrium tissue that covered my ovaries and fallopian tubes and he put a Mirena Coil so that my fertility wouldn’t be compromised. (I had stage 4 of Endo at this point)

 

Relief at last

 

For the first time in 13 years I had no pain.

I loved my life; a zeal for it (which I still have) was born. You know when someone tells you to live life to the fullest and do what you want to do and wave your hands in the air like you don’t care?? Lol, yeah I did that for 3 good months before the pain came back.

 

Back to reality

 

As I write this I have the worst headache ever and my back and shoulders have decided to kick into level 400. The last two days have been brutal because I am ovulating and I can feel the damn egg travelling.

I could change my diet again or find some radical something that will help “ease or get rid of” the pain, maybe even look at the spiritual aspects of it, but my reality is that I am meant to have this pain. I’m just supposed to rise above it and live life to the fullest and that’s not an easy task.

Yoga helps me. And meditation. And maybe some teas here and there. Lemon, ginger and honey is amazing. I generally try and avoid junk and fast foods and sodas… Been on a general healthy diet from the word go.. My moms always been conscious about food.

 

Endo and Family

 

My family is very open with each other; my mom and sister also have endo and my brother was told early on about our periods.
The extended family is a whole different story. I like avoiding them as they disturb my positive energy fields.

I would love a whole football team of children lol.. 

Endo is genetic, my mom and I traced it back to her grandmother(Her dads mom)  so for me it doesn’t really matter if I have a daughter or son,  I’m going to have to tell them asap about endo.. And what they can do from the word go.

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Parting Shot

 

To my queens and princesses I agree it is soo not fair that we endure this pain.

Search for your solutions and remedies. Don’t let anyone stop you. 

However do not forget to live life to the fullest. Do what makes you happy; love yourself and play in the rain.

Oh and please be kind to your sister queen/princess.

Seriously, we women can be brutal to each other and it’s about time we stopped.

The black rose is my favourite flower.

You can check out Nurah’s blog here.

Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.

Thank you Nurah for sharing your story with us. You are a star!! ❤

If you would like to be featured in #TheKenyanEndoStory, please send an email to yellowendoflower@gmail.com and I will be in touch.

Blessings,

Ess

 

#TheKenyanEndoStory

When I was diagnosed with Endometriosis, I only knew one other woman with Endo and she was not willing to talk about her journey because of the stigma she had received. I was alone; I felt like an anomaly. My journey with Endo was very lonely and depressing. There are many times that I was almost consumed by these feelings. Suicide crossed my mind a couple of times. By God’s grace, I made it through.

As I researched about Endometriosis a few years back, I realized that there were many stories from the UK and USA but very few, if any, from Kenya. A few years later, I found other women in Kenya who were fighting Endometriosis; I was encouraged and wished I’d heard these stories of pain, strength and courage earlier.

 

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A couple of months ago, I had a dream to share stories of women suffering from Endometriosis in Kenya. I wanted the world at large and the people of Kenya to know that:

*If you know ten women, you know Endometriosis. It affects one in ten women.

*Endometriosis does not fit in a box, it is vast and multi-faceted. It attacks different organs, so every woman’s experience in unique.

*Endometriosis doesn’t have a trademark look. Many women are suffering yet they look normal. Behind their smiles are souls that carry pain unknown.

*Information is power. The more we talk about Endometriosis the more women we empower and together we decrease the stigma.

*We need policies that support women with Endometriosis in Kenya

*Specialized healthcare needs to be more affordable and accessible. Getting a diagnosis in Kenya is like buying a parcel of land.

Several months later,

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a new segment on this blog #TheKenyanEndoStory. yellowendoflower.wordpress.com.

It will feature stories of pain, hope, courage and strength to encourage women in Kenya and around the world. The first story goes live in a few minutes.
If you would like to be featured in ‘Her Endo Story’ #TheKenyanEndoStory, please send an me an email via yellowendoflower@gmail.com and I will be in touch.

Blessings,

Ess

 

I Wasn’t A Hypochondriac Afterall

I almost hugged the doctor the day he have me a diagnosis. I couldn’t pronounce ‘Endometriosis’, and I barely knew anything about it, but it was a diagnosis, and it somewhat explained the pain I’d been feeling. Also, in retrospect, I don’t think that the Doctor would have appreciated the hugs as much as I would have.

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After years of being labelled a hypochondriac and sickly child, it was so refreshing to hear someone finally give a name to the condition I’d been facing. Granted that no one likes to hear they are sick or get a diagnosis they can’t pronounce, but after years of crying in fetal position in pain, getting a diagnosis was music to my ears.

I felt validated , like someone understood me and my pain. I didn’t understand the intricate details, but I understood this:

a) someone believed me

b) the pain was not all in my head

c) we could try to manage it

I had been trying to tell the world for six years that periods this painful were not normal. I struggled with feelings of guilt and depression when getting out of bed seemed like a task too big for me.

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Invisible illness is sometimes very difficult to diagnose. It’s possible to get several misdiagnosis especially when the symptoms are similar to other illnesses.

When the doctor mentioned surgery, I was just like ‘bring it on!!!’. My fear of going under the knife was less than my fear of living in this pain. If this surgery could help, then I wanted it, I needed it stat. Prior to this, I had a surgery that I didn’t need and got an inconclusive diagnosis because the Endometriosis symptoms had manifested in my bladder.

I wasn’t a hypochondriac after all.

Have you been labelled a hypochondriac? Don’t give up on looking for a diagnosis.

‘Big Sis’